The Center for Common Sense Counseling
Why Meditate?
When we get upset, we get lost in thinking and emotions. Once we have been emotionalized, the process becomes more and more pervasive. Soon we react to everything. We react to people, to situations, even to words. Everything upsets us. We are no longer in control of ourselves. Emotion washes away reason.
Under the spell of emotion, we do or say the wrong thing. Or we misinterpret the words and actions of others. After erring, we hide in our thoughts, reliving the past or planning for the future.
At the present time, you are probably unaware of just how reactive you are and therefore controlled by outside people and circumstances. All you know is that your life is out of control, your health and relationships are suffering, and something is vaguely wrong. You would like to get back in control, be happy and cheerful, and be able to deal with life’s issues with poise and grace. But you don’t know how.
May I recommend our meditation?
The secret to recovering reason, dignity, self control, and mastery over life is to not become upset and emotional in the first place. Most of us try to be calm by becoming tense and repressed. Or we try to alter our circumstances, so that nothing is there to upset us. But fear of being upset will make us hide from life and become afraid. The fear is itself a debilitating reaction.
Nor is this fair to others. We try to force our kids to sit still, but it is mostly for the selfish reason that we don’t know how to be around them without being nervous and upset.
The meditation is a simple, tried and true technology, to refind the state of mind we had just before we got upset. It teaches how to stand back and observe thought, without being lost in it. It also teaches how to carry the meditative state of mind out into the world, so we can be pre-armed with patience. Then we learn how to face situations that previously upset us, now with a bit of detachment, objectivity and composure.
Now, with our emotions quieted, we discover that we don’t have to come unglued over things. We can face them, and deal with them with some poise and understanding. We also discover that we don’t have to manipulate others, give in all the time, try to overpower them, or run and hide. The meditation helps you refind the aware state in which native and intuitive wisdom is available, and it comes through your new found patience. You’ll be more cheerful, and will be able to say yes wholeheartedly or say no graciously—whichever is required of the moment. Without compulsion and without guilt.
Getting Started
Getting started is very simple. All you need is the Introductory version of the meditation exercise which you can listen to on our website. If it sits okay with you, then you might wish to download it so you can listen to it some more on your CD player, mp3 or tape player.
Basically, you can use the short instructions as a guide to get you started. Soon you will be able to meditate on your own without the instructions.
Next, you can ask for the Intermediate version, which includes a booklet and more instructions. Once you have begun meditating, you will be able to follow and understand my writings, which will confirm things you already knew, help to dispel doubt, and provide clues for further discoveries.
So you see it is all very simple. All you need to do is get started with an attitude of humble inquiry and a sincere desire to know the truth.
I’ve tried other meditations. And I see that there are dozens or hundreds of them. Why yours?
Most people get all hung up in techniques and theories. I want to keep it all very simple. So here is the short answer.
Remember how I said that our biggest problem is that we react emotionally and then get lost in thinking? Well, most meditations are just more of the same. Focusing on feelings or visualizing only perpetuates the emotional thinking that we need to be rescued from. Blanking the mind is escapism, and so is trying to think nice thoughts. If our goal is just peace or feeling better, that the meditation is misused in order to obtain some ego goal. Moreover, when we are lost in thinking and feeling, we are suggestible. And so we simply come under the influence of someone who suggests that we are feeling better or whatever. We are convinced that we feel better, and the false hope temporarily buoys our spirits. But nothing has really changed.
The beauty of our meditation is that it permits you to stand back and observe thought and emotion. By seeing what is there, from a calm detached viewpoint, your intuitive mind will start to affect your emotional thinking mind, instead of the other way around. Coming from a place of stillness and honest inquiry, you are freed from the prejudices, suggestions and distracting ideas and feelings that have always misled you. Instead you now stand in God’s Light, which quiets your soul and enlightens your mind.
You could say that improper meditation is like a spiritual analgesic. It makes you feel better, but it is like taking an aspirin to mask the symptoms of something wrong.
Is this meditation for Christians?
Yes it is. In fact, it is a Judeo-Christian meditation. I say this knowing that I risk alienating my brothers and sisters who are not of the Christian persuasion. But I am a Christian, because I can see for myself what is true.
The benefit for Christians is that this meditation helps you calm down, get out of emotions and the endless loop of worry and doubt. It restores you to the kind of natural awareness you had when you were a little child. This type of awareness permits you to see the truth for yourself. Suddenly when you hear, for example, something from the Bible, you will see it for yourself. Not just because someone else said so, but because you also see that it is true. This intuitive awareness is the prize of proper meditation. It permits your religion to come alive.
Another benefit of our meditation is the calmness it imparts. Being less emotional and upset when issues arise with your loved ones makes it easier to express love and understanding. How can you express kindness when you are angry, faith when you are worried, or love when you are impatient?
I’ve been turned off to religion and Christianity. To me, religion is a scam or a fairy tale. Why should I meditate?
If you are a searching person, you are honestly looking for the truth and will recognize it when you see it. The types of religious people who you met may not have been really Christians. Or perhaps they were overzealous on the one hand, or manipulative on the other. But perhaps they just had feet of clay (as we all do). If you resent them for their real or imagined wrong, it will make it hard for you to see beyond to know what is really true.
Just as there are good mechanics and bad ones, good policemen and bad ones, so there are good Christians and there are Christians who don’t do a good job of representing Christianity.
A sincere seeker wants to know for himself or herself what is true. Not all people are interested in finding our for sure what is true, but some are. And for the sincere seeker, the meditation we have is just the right thing. It will help you overlook your negative reactions to people or words, and begin to discover for yourself what is true and not true. It permits you to see for yourself not because someone said so, but because you see.
Another thing. It also permits you to see that something is true even though you might have a negative reaction to someone who pressured you.
I don’t know anything about Christianity or spirituality. Can I meditate?
Absolutely. In fact, there is a term in engineering called “fresh eyes.” It means being able to look at something without any preconceived ideas that get in the way. It’s a fresh viewpoint, uncluttered and open to see what is really there. There is an advantage in not having heard all the terms and ideas over and over again before. Without a lot of preconceived ideas, and conditioned responses to certain terms, you may find it easier to grasp the truth than someone who has had religious knowledge drummed into them.
What is different about this meditation from all the others?
There are many techniques which encourage a process of getting involved with images or visualizations in the imagination. Unfortunately, what is wrong with most of us now is that we are lost in our thinking. All it takes is one good upset, and we walk around reliving the past, worrying, planning and scheming about the future. Being lost in thought makes us unprepared for the next moment which catches us without love and understanding.
Our thoughts make us selfish because mostly our plans and schemes are to make up for past failings. We compensate for our lack of grace and understanding with thinking. Others can see the self-serving nature of our plans and schemes. Those with true perception can see that we don't really have love.
Another type of meditation uses a mandala or other symbol or sound to blank the mind. With no more thinking to observe, the person has a false sense of innocence. But nothing has changed. A fixation on sound or symbol precludes the entrance of true wisdom and love. No wonder things continue to get worse. A proper meditation involves observing thought, which is a far cry from from being involved in thought or blanking thought. We must have the courage to observe what is there. But in the past, you became upset by the vicious or morbid thoughts. Struggling with them only makes them stronger. Just as cruel people seem to gain strength from your resentful reactions to them, so likewise do thoughts which upset and drain you.
Who are you and why are you interested in helping people recover from stress and find the secret to life?
I am a regular person, not a saint or holy person. I found something very positive and helpful. And because I have been persistent in my inquiry and blessed with realization and insight, I have grown in understanding—enough so that I can help others find their own inner source of love and wisdom.
I have discovered that many people, in fact most people, have heard little bits and pieces of advice and practices that are helpful in life. We’ve all received good advice from a parent, aunt, uncle, teacher, coach, doctor, counselor, or a good boss. We’ve read advice columns or compilations of noble sayings.
For example, we all kind of know that honesty is the best policy, don’t sweat the small stuff, be fair with people, treat others as you would like to be treated, be grateful, forget self and help others, and so on. We’ve also heard common sense advice that we kind of know is true such as: save money, be frugal, eat natural and healthy food, stay away from junk food, avoid drugs, and so on.
Many people have bits and pieces of a sound philosophy, as well as knowledge of good advice and common sense advice. But something more is needed.
The problem is that many of us still have burning questions about life and the meaning of life that we want answered. We want to know for sure. Otherwise we have to keep juggling with bits and pieces and never put the whole puzzle together.
Sometimes the advice is contradictory: we are told to be assertive on the one hand, but cautious on the other. We’re told to relax, but also to be alert. We’re told that haste makes waste, but that he who hesitates is lost. We’re told to be tolerant, but to stand up for ourselves. It can be confusing.
The other thing is that it is one thing to have heard good advice, but another to remember it and put it into practice in the heat of the moment. Emotions and upset (or excitement and greed) tend to wash away love and reason.
Finally, we have also discovered that no matter how good a piece of advice is, when we try to apply it, it doesn’t always work and sometimes it backfires. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with our family members. We have something we plan to say, but it comes off canned and artificial.
God granted Solomon one wish. Solomon asked for wisdom so that he could govern the people properly. Because of his unselfishness, God granted the wish. Wisdom was the one thing that would give Solomon the ability to answer all the other questions. Similarly, meditation connects us to the source of love and understanding, the inner Light from God. Once we have connected with the God of conscience, our problems will begin to resolve. We know that we are known, and we have confidence that the Light will be there in our moment of need.
The meditation helps you stay in the moment, close to intuition, so that a sincere desire to do what is right or say what is right results in the right word or deed issuing forth from intuition rather than from a storehouse of predigested knowledge. Our deed or action is thus fresh, spontaneous, and has universal love in it instead of being self serving.
I cannot give you understanding. Nor should I try. Instead, I offer the key to finding understanding for yourself. It is the proper meditation, when coupled with a sincere humble attitude. Because of the good that the meditation has done for me, I wish to share it with others. I do this by sharing the meditation in its simplicity. I also share some of the realizations and discoveries I have made in the hope that they may help you find real answers too.